Compass No.18
Carlos Alcaraz, stoicism, and the psychology of confidence
Thought provoking quote
Recently, Netflix released a documentary following professional tennis player, Carlos Alcaraz entitled “My Way.” At the ripe age of 21, Alcaraz has already won four Grand Slams and been widely viewed as the “successor” to fellow Spanish tennis player and winner of 22 Grand Slams, Rafael Nadal. Despite his lofty goals, Alcaraz’s words on what matters, and how that informs his approach to the game, stuck with me:
“I would love to sit at the same table as the Big Three when it comes to titles. My goal is to become the greatest player in history. Do I really have the mindset to do everything it takes, to deal with everything, so that I can become the best in history? Right now, I don’t know. I’m still young, and I have a lot ahead of me. But from what I’ve lived so far, I definitely prefer to put happiness before any kind of accomplishment. Because being happy is an accomplishment. It’s not easy to find happiness.”
Podcast insights that stayed with me
I’ve always been curious about stoic philosophies but never studied them in depth. I found Dan Harris’ recent interview with philosophy professor William Irvine on the Ten Percent Happier Podcast to be a nice introductory primer
Stoicism is fundamentally about minimizing negative emotions and optimizing for positive emotions in order to achieve emotional balance.
Importantly, Stoicism is not about emotional suppression. Rather, it is about creating the space to not let certain emotions emerge. That is, making a choice about whether or not certain emotions will serve you. For example, what will you really get from being angry at the driver who stole your parking spot?
Easier said than done, right? Irvine emphasizes that there has never been a stoic sage; someone who is perfect in their practice and unaffected by negative emotion. He thinks about the ideal as a target to aim at as the individual endeavors to become better in their practice. Perhaps we can’t be perfect, but we likely can improve at being less affected by negative emotions a much greater percentage of the time.
Question inspired by a recent essay
Last week I did a deep dive into the psychology of confidence and highlighted several techniques that can be helpful in overcoming common barriers to confidence building.
Research has found that fantasizing on its own can be detrimental to taking action because your brain can be tricked into thinking that you have already achieved the thing you’re fantasizing about!
However, when paired with a technique called mental contrasting, fantasizing can aid in identifying goals that you are motivated to achieve and can confidently strive for. Mental contrasting involves thinking about the benefits of the potential fantasy first, and then thinking about the current realities and obstacles that might get in the way of pursuing that fantasy in real life. For example, maybe it’s not feasible to quit your job and travel the world for a year right now, but maybe it does feel feasible and exciting to apply for jobs in a foreign country!
It’s also worth noting that reversing the order of mental contrasting can have negative consequences. Individuals who consider the obstacles to a goal first have been found to be far less likely to take action.
If you find yourself perpetually hindered by considering the obstacles and risks first, try reversing the order. What possibilities and refined goals emerge when you consider the benefits of a particular goal first and consider the obstacles or current realities second?