There’s nothing that seems to spark an existential crisis quite like coming back from vacation over a holiday weekend. The euphoria of time away and neglecting email for a few days is quickly met with to-dos and the reality of all the work that needs to be done…cue crisis! Memorial day, in particular, has the unfortunate position of coinciding with the mid-year point; a circumstance that almost always triggers the daunting realization of only having six months to accomplish all the things you set out to do this year. You’re forced to confront the question: What have I actually done up until this point? I’ve probably already shared enough to give you a peek into my jet-lagged, anxiety driven headspace of the past few days.
Much as I’d love to blame United Airlines and related travel delays for this week’s case of entrepreneurial doubt, I know enough by this point in the journey to recognize that I’m treading water in a familiar space. The weight and difficulty of building and running a business seems to regularly force you to ask the questions: What am I doing? Should I keep going?
I seemed to be struggling with these questions more so than usual this week, and so it felt like fortunate happenstance when I recording an interview with an entrepreneur who’s message hit home in a way that I needed to hear (stayed tuned for a special interview coming in July!). This person left a prestigious job to start a business in a space where they had no prior experience and spent the next 10 years honing their craft as an entrepreneur. It has only been recently that their business has reached a point of receiving more external validation, being able to expand, and hire employees. I wanted to know: What kept them going over that 10+ year period ? This person shared that in their most challenging moments they would take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and ask for guidance from the voice within. Some might call that voice love, God, intuition, or the universe. To ask for guidance meant getting in touch with the fear and the anxiety directly, and then letting it go by trusting in a power greater than themselves. It meant trusting that the answer would reveal itself. The answer, I might add, was never a precise marketing plan or solution but rather an intuition about directionality. This entrepreneur told me that the answer was always something to the effect of “keep going.”
The advice this interviewee shared felt like exactly what I needed to hear. When I got really quiet, exhaled, and had the courage to touch that fear, the feeling in my gut told me to keep going. Maybe, one day, it will tell me something different, and I’ll have to be brave enough to change course. But, until then, I have my answer. It strikes me that perhaps my fear is not about my current path being the right one, but wrestling with the uncertainty that I do not and cannot know how it will all work out or when or by what measure. It’s a recognition that I have to surrender to again and again and again.
I’m not sure if it was a sign, the universe, or just good old fashioned luck, but I felt compelled to write a piece during a week where I was contemplating not publishing at all. The right person reached me at the right time, and my hope is that with this space and these interviews I can do the same for each person that honors me with the privilege of reading.
Keep going.