Confronting the Brutal Facts of Reality

I started learning to play golf about a year ago. As anyone who has ever played golf knows, it’s a humbling experience. Until recently, I had yet to keep score during a single round. I figured it was better to try and figure out how to consistently make contact with the ball before getting concerned about just how far from par my game was.

A few weeks ago I decided that it was finally time to grab a scorecard and assess the real state of my game. I remember thinking: How bad could the score really be? Turns out, quite bad! I shot a 73 on the front nine. For the non-golfers reading this, that would have been a phenomenal score had I played an entire 18 holes. Not so great when you’ve only played half of a full round.

The surprising bit about the whole experience was that I didn’t feel demoralized after. Instead, keeping score allowed me to see exactly where I needed to get better in order to improve. I felt oddly inspired to actually go practice afterward (which, to be fair, has been a somewhat rare occurrence for me until now). As I told my boyfriend, “It’s time to confront the brutal facts of reality.”

Let me explain. In the business classic, Good to Great, author Jim Collins argues that a key differentiator of companies that made the leap from good to great results, and sustained those results for at least 15 years, was the ability to maintain a powerful duality. He writes:

“On the one hand, they stoically accepted the brutal facts of reality. On the other hand, they maintained an unwavering faith in the endgame, and a commitment to prevail as a great company despite the brutal facts.” (p.83)

You can see threads of many pieces of popular wisdom in this paradox. Feedback helps you get better. Confronting failure is necessary. Etc Etc. And yet, most of us know that it’s not always so easy to confront the brutal facts. How many times do we avoid things for fear of what the “facts” might be? Tough conversations? Reading (and sending) important emails? Soliciting feedback? Asking for help?

This most recent golf experience reminded me that confronting the brutal facts, rather than being the scary, demoralizing experience I’ve often feared, is actually pretty empowering. If I’m honest, most of the truly transformative experiences of my life have come from confronting the brutal facts. The difference maker is exactly what Collins writes about - it’s pairing those facts with the belief that you can still get better and succeed. When that’s the case, the brutal facts transform from blocker to guide.

I see the magic of this insight all the time in my coaching practice. To actively decide to work with a coach is to place some belief in the idea that things can change and get better. It’s that kernel of belief that enables the hard work of confronting the brutal facts, and when those facts are confronted, things begin to change.

What do you want to believe will change? What brutal facts do you need to confront to get there?