Are Discomfort and Uncertainty the Enemy or the Gift?

Hint...not the enemy

In my journey as an entrepreneur, I often find myself wishing for the moment when I’ll have “arrived.” That is, reached this mystical moment when I’ll have it all figured out; a zen like state where everything is in balance and there is no more uncertainty. And I’m not alone in this. I hear a familiar refrain from the entrepreneurs I work with in my coaching practice: When will there be less uncertainty? When will I feel like I always know what I’m doing? When will the discomfort go away?

The reality of running a business is, of course, more of a constant oscillation between euphoria (new clients! things are working!) and the discomfort of uncertainty (“Is this going to work?”, “How am I going to figure this new challenge out?” “What if XYZ happens?”). I can honestly tell you that in the past 14 days, I’ve experienced every single one of these thoughts, and I can forecast with a fairly high degree of certainty that I’ll probably have them all again by this time next month.

Lately I’ve been thinking that the problem isn’t discomfort and the messiness of uncertainty, it’s the thinking that the zen like perfect state is what we should be aiming for. I’ve come to realize that when we operate from that belief system, it’s all too easy to mistake uncertainty and the discomfort it triggers as a warning bell; a sign to start frantically worrying about the future. More often than not, nothing is actually wrong. It’s just that we’ve decided to prescribe a label of wrongness to not knowing how business and life will unfold and, in doing so, ignited the internal panic button. I’ve come to realize that a lot of anxiety can be removed when we learn to view these periods as something that simply arrives and departs, like the days of the week and the months of the year. If we view them in that way they become, not an impending disaster to run from, but rather part of the natural order of things. It’s a realization that’s allowed me to see that uncertainty and discomfort are actually gifts.

Rather than resorting to overthinking, I’m gaining practice at using the feeling of discomfort as an invitation to gauge how I’m feeling about the course that I’m on: Would I do anything differently than what I’m doing now? When the answer is “no,” I feel a renewed sense of trust. I give myself the space to see that the discomfort is nothing more than a reaction to wanting certainty where it can’t exist. When the answer is “yes,” I get permission to look at what isn’t aligned, try new ideas, and sometimes give myself a kick in the butt to put myself out there more and be less afraid of taking chances. This blog, as one example, was one of those “kicks in the butt,” and it’s given me more inspiration, ideas, and new connections than I ever thought possible.

In thinking about the benefits of discomfort and uncertainty, I was reminded of my interview with California Peony Company cofounder Anne Hilton last year. Because of the inherent uncertainty involved in harvesting peonies, Anne had a lot of wisdom to offer on this topic. She shared:

“I genuinely feel very positive a lot of the time but, as humans, we’re not supposed to be in that state all the time. I think you have to embrace that there are going to be really hard times when you feel uncomfortable or when things are stressful. That’s okay…Without those low, uncomfortable, uncertain times, it’s hard to really cherish the wins. I like the rawness of feeling it all.”

I am writing this piece more for myself than anyone. It will not be the first or last time that a period of uncertainty kickstarts my internal panic button. However, what I’m gaining greater ability to see is that chasing a life without uncertainty and discomfort is actually the thing that creates a lot of our worry and discomfort. When I can allow them to just exist in my life as part of the natural rhythm of things (and not work so incredibly hard to make them go away), life is, funnily enough, calmer. May we embrace “the rawness of feeling it all.”